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Didn’t Want to Do – Day 9 of 120

Today’s finally happened!


Today was one of those days where motivation just did not exist. I intended to get my workout in after breakfast, it didn’t happen. Then I said I would do it after Ian went down for a nap, nope didn’t do it then either. After that I said I would do it after lunch, the procrastination continued. It wasn’t like it was a hard day. The schedule said today’s workout was a 30 minute walk. The developers cut a portion of the field next to my house for the first time in years and I could only imagine all the junk in the air that would flare up my allergies. No biggie, I have a treadmill I never use anymore and plenty of walking and aerobic dvds.  Honestly I do not have an excuse, just the fact that I just didn’t feel like doing it.

Finally it was decided that it was time for me to suck it up, get on some workout clothes and just get to it. I ended up doing 35 minutes of aerobics. Tried it without my shoes on and I feel like I had a bit more balance during the cool down, those stretches can be hard for me to do without half falling over. Anyhow today’s workout is finished and that is what matters. Hoping tomorrow I have more motivation.


I need motivation

So the workout area is still a mess, and the weather has been crazy so I have not chanced walking with the baby because he is too new to get rained on. So no exercise this week unless housework counts. To be honest not much of that has gotten done either. I really, really need to get on the ball and do something, anything. How is it that I really do want to get active but don’t have the motivation to try hard enough to act on it? Yes, having a newborn that has wanted to play all day lately, a 7 y/o with homework and keeping up on the house and meals is a lot of work. This summer cold I am battling doesn’t help either but these things shouldn’t be getting in my way so much.

Over the weekend when I should have been cleaning out my workout area I hosted a BBQ one day, went to the in-laws with the baby for the first time, moved in someone who needed a place to stay and that required getting a ton of stuff out of the guest bedroom. We also had a wedding to attend. With all of that making time for anything extra was a struggle. sounds like a ton of excuses I know. And they are. But let me tell you this having a baby again thing can be a challenge. I could workout while he is up all day wanting to play but I want to play with him and hold him when he is awake. So I know I choose not to be more productive. I know I am making excuses.

Food wise my diet is getting cleaner and cleaner each day so there is progress going on in that area. Just about ready to fully switch over to clean eating once again. I have to finish swapping out some things in the pantry so anything processed is out. Then we are good to go. I won;t be doing a full grocery shop this week so next week I should be able to really get into it.

LO is sleeping in his swing so I think I may just do some yoga knowing that won’t wake them and be able to say I did something. I will let you all know if I did it.

All I know is that before the pregnancy from hell (IMO) I was so motivated. I worked hard but it didn’t feel like work. I love working out and eating well and I am really struggling to get back to that state of mind. Where did my motivation go? You would think the fact that I am roasting my rear off because I have to wear jeans because no summer clothes fit would work, nope. You would think that stepping on the scale at me 6 week check up would motivate me.. nope still 30 lbs to lose and I have made no effort. I really need to get back into the swing of things and make time for exercise, I’ tired of being fat. UGH

What is your motivation?

Each and every person has their own reasons for making the chose to live a healthier life, eat well and exercise. For some it may be to look better, medical reasons or to just plain feel better. I have been working at trying to lose the weight for quite some time now. I just never seems to find what really worked for me given my limitations at the time. Keeping motivated with so many rules of what I could and couldn’t do was really hard. I knew I needed to lose, and badly. I gained so much with the meds and illness and my inactivity. I started with cleaning up my diet, stuck with it for a long time but went back to not eating enough and not eating all the right things. It is so easy to lose sight of a goal sometimes. I sat at the same weight for so long and was really unhappy with it, so I started doing some light exercise (only intermittently) and watching my diet, again. Then I hit the dreaded plateau. And there I sat.

Of course while on this plateau two good friends of mine ask me to be their Matron of Honor, I was more than excited to be part of their day! I love weddings. I didn’t think much about my weight until I had to go in and order dresses. Then thoughts of how unhappy I was to be the “fat” bridesmaid again and spending big bucks for dresses and shoes that I will look like a whale in. I went and ordered the first dress, they ordered me a size 18 and when I went and ordered the other they had me order a 18 too. Yuck, I was not pleased. So I went and bought a couple of beginners DVDs and worked out lightly a few days a week. I didn’t seem to lose anything. I felt stuck, I felt fat, I felt hopeless. Like I was going to be a skinny girl trapped in a big body for the rest of my life. I didn’t want to be a big bridesmaid, I want to wear shorts, to feel comfortable in a bathing suit. I want to have to alter the crap out of those dresses. So my main motivation is just to look good in those dresses. That is what lead me to Les Mills Pump.

For the first wedding the dress is burnt orange and cocoa and the shoes are in cocoa and the second wedding the dress is purple and the shoes are champagne. I also had to order a champagne colored sash for dress #2.

So here are the dresses I credit with my motivation..

What motivates you?


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