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Can I punch you in the face?

I am seriously irritated and frustrated today. This means I want to do nothing. That includes working out. The feeling that I just want to punch someone is what I am feeling. Being cranky really sucks. I’m not used to be a Debbie Downer but today… Let’s just say watch out world. I probably go suck it up and do my workout so I can blow off some steam. UGH!

There are things I really need to do that I don’t want to do at all on top of being frustrated, that frustrates me more. Like shopping for a bathing suit. I got our pool up yesterday. Enjoying it will be nice but I lack a suit. Due to weather I skated out of buying one the last time I was supposed to shop for one but now I need it. our little blue pool will be calling my name with all this heat we have had! I also need to get more pool chemicals.. that does not frustrate me, or annoy me though.

 

Tuesday Morning Weigh in is Postponed

Meet Max I blame this 20 lb behemoth cat for my scale issues.

Last night I got on the scale (it was around Midnight so it technically was not cheating and weighing in early), it said 164! So excited, then this morning it said 164, then 189, then 200, then 169, then 172. So yeah, I have no idea what I weigh. I did go grab my old scale that was weighing me heavier and it said 168. So I think I am going to go buy a new scale today and weigh back in after. I swear my huge cat sleeping on it all the time messed it up. I flipped it over and noticed that the legs on it were jamming up, so there is the issue. I wish I still had the box and receipt so I can just exchange it. I haven’t had it that long. But oh well. It is what it is and it is a jacked up scale. All I know is that there is no way in hell I gained 29 pounds in a week! I really don’t think there is any way I gained an ounce really. But I will get a new scale and we will see. So I will more than likely weigh tonight and post my results tomorrow morning. I am just hoping those lower numbers last night and this morning don’t leave me disappointed.

I really do think my big cat constantly sleeping on the  scale, jumping on the scale along with his other cat like shenanigans is what has messed the darn thing up. I am so annoyed right now because the stupid scale got me all excited and now I am sure that the numbers are totally wrong, even if I did get them twice (last night and this morning) UGH!!! Anyhow, enough ranting, whining and complaining. All I know is I think I look visibly smaller this week and I want the stupid scale to reflect it. And I am being a big baby right now because I don’t actually know.

I have a super busy day today and company tonight to watch Smash, New Girl and Glee so this will be today’s only post. Thanks for reading and have a wonderful day!

Does my ass make my ass look big?

Yesterday was rough for me. It seemed that everything I put on make me look like a heifer, even all the new size 12′s I bought last week. How is that there was no weight gain and even a bit of inches lost and I saw myself as fat as I was when I stated all this? Anyhow, everything I tried on I hated. I liked the clothes, but they didn’t look right to me. Being that discouraged made me want to throw in the towel, I had this feeling that all this hard work has been for nothing. Why did I do that to myself? it is not like I wanted to feel that was, self sabotage was not my plan at all. Some of the unhappiness I have been feeling over other things must be wearing me down. Not to worry though nothing is permanent.

So today is Wednesday, it is day 79 of Les Mills Pump, I still love it on day 79 just as much as I did on day one. I am still grateful that I gave it a go. If there were live classes around here I would get a gym membership in a second. I think that I am finally to the point where I don’t feel too fat for group fitness. Shyness is something that really came with weight gain. I am getting back to my more open outgoing, who give a damn what you think self again, I know it sounds strange after the first part of this blog. Yesterday was a rough day for some reason, that’s all.

The carpet people are coming to measure today! I went and confirmed what color and pile I wanted, sugar cookie.  Why is it that I always like the most expensive of everything. Even before I have a clue what the price is I always find that I gravitate to items of a higher cost? I must have good taste :) I did find a new chair I really liked. I need to find a couple more I like so there are choices. And no luck on a TV/media stand. I think we need to make the two-hour trek to Ikea maybe. Haven’t even started looking for shelving for the archway wall.  The house is a huge mess. Furniture all over, the stuff from the walls strewn about which leads to making more clutter. How does that happen? Things will be in order soon enough. I can’t wait for the living room, Purple room (sitting and treadmill room right now but soon to be an office), steps and hallway to have it’s pretty new floor coverings!

Time to get going with my day. The kiddo is off to school, time for me to get going on part one of my workouts. I am super starving today, I can’t wait to eat breakfast. I don’t think I got me calories in to calories out ratio right. I had a major calorie burn yesterday, just about 1000 cals! That must be why I am starving.

Just one more random thought. I really, REALLY want a sashimi lunch from Hello Sushi. If they were open right now that would be my breakfast. I have been craving sashimi for a week now at least!

Have a great day everyone!

 

The “fat’ Mom.

Have you ever went to a function and left really feeling like a whale? That was me today. Why is it that the dumbest things can get us thinking and in negative ways. Why is it that we feel the need to fit in or get jealous?

My daughter had her first game today, and sitting on the bleachers with all the other Baseball Moms really made me feel like crap. I was the “fat” mom of the group. UGH.  No one said, did or acted in any certain way to make me feel self conscience at all. Just them all standing there drinking their sugary hot chocolates and eating candy while being stupid skinny while I sat having water with a side of water and was fat. Everyone was making plans to go get ice cream and burgers after. I was invited but I passed. Went home and had more water and some chili with tons of veggies. Now it’s time to get some exercise Les Mills Pump and the Treadmill are expecting me today. I’d rather be social and go eat junk food and be skinny like everyone else. But alas, I can’t, time to put on my big girl panties and get the heck over it.

I know that this sounds very childish and whiny but I can’t help it. No one can be confident 100% of the time. I am sure I will get over it in no time also. Just had to vent!

On another note. Emma had a blast at her game! And I got her some ice cream after. Got to live vicariously through her. :)

Tuesday Weigh in Week 9 *sigh*

It is that time again. I’ve got my scale and tape measure handy and I am ready to go. I am not sure how accurate anything will be this week. I have some MAJOR bloating issues and still have a pot belly going on, swollen from my stomach to thighs (I can feel the fluid, yuck). My Fibromyalgia is flared up pretty badly. I feel foggy and things that should be easy are getting more and more confusing. I went to Zumba last night and wow, did I have a really hard time catching on. I did 100 times better last time, and that was my first go at it. Oh well, I did my best and worked up a really good sweat. That is all that matters. Right now I am hoping this fog, the bloat and the elevated pain passes quick. I am definitely going to have to tone down the weights for now. I really hope it doesn’t set me back to far. Ah, the life of a cripple.

I had to go pant shopping yesterday, needed some dress slacks for a Showing this afternoon. I hate shopping when bloated, makes finding things harder. I was still able to buy a size 12 though. So I was happy.

Let me hop on the scale and get this done and over with:

  • Chest: 36 inches  (- 0 inches)
  • R Arm: 12 inches  (- 0 inches)
  • L  Arm: 12 inches (- 0 inches)
  • Waist: 32 inches (- 0 inches)
  • Hips: 41 inches (- 0 inches)
  • R Thigh: 24.5 inches (- 0 inches)
  • L Thigh: 24.5 inches (- 0 inches)
  • Weight: 171 pounds (-0 pounds)
  • Pant Size: 12
  • BMI: 29.9

Well, that wasn’t as bad as I though it would be, all the bloat sits above and below where I measure. How convenient! So no change this week. Not exactly pleased but I will accept it and move on. I think I need to step up the cardio or go a little stricter with the diet so I can get some sure changes for next week. Hoping it will clear out this water weight I am carrying around right now. I really dislike weeks with no change they feel like set backs and are disappointing. It is the beginning of a new fitness week for me so time to change that!

Have a great Tuesday everyone.

 

I Had A Dream That…..

Image

Now I am going to sit here and feel sorry for myself while reading food blogs and looking at sweets on pinterest.

B**** I’m 36 months pregnant. Really?

Who pissed in my Cheerios today? So far it seems the entire world….

So I woke up today cranky as all get up. I have never been one to be a morning person so a slight amount of temporary crankiness is not all that unusual. But today, watch out. I feel like ripping the first person who looks at me sideways’ head off. I am so tired. I think I may die. Seriously! I have on average getting three and a half hours of sleep a night for a while now, so I am always tired. I am constantly sore and feel like my body does not recover from my workouts and I think this could be lack of sleep. So I am moody from the constant aches on top of my Fibromyalgia being flared up right now. I hate waking up on the wrong side of the bed. why the heck do they call it that anyhow? Wrong side? Do I have another option? Should I try to climb over the dog then over  my husband and see if that puts me in a better mood because getting to the other side of the bed is like going through an obstacle course. I don’t see that starting my day in a sunny disposition. You try it and let me know how that works out for you. Anyhow here is my morning. Woke up tired and sore, Emma was hard to get up and a pain in the butt (this is rare), the bus came early so I sent her running like a mad child to the bus stop with book bag and coat in hand. I may of just won the mom of the year award for that one. Note the sarcasm. Then I decided to try to take a nap for an hour, didn’t work two of the three cats needed cat food or they were going to die at that moment apparently. UGH.

Then I once again for the billionth time get asked if I am pregnant. No bitch I am just fat. Really?? I do not look pregnant. I may not be the size zero/one I was 15 years ago but damn. I hate this question, it started happening on a regular basis about the time of my high school reunion. My being a size 6 at the time apparently meant I was knocked up or popped out a billion babies because compared to when I was 17  I was fat. Piss off  people really. It just got worse as I got bigger. Then people would say after told I was not with child and had one x amount of time ago.. Oh you had a baby it isn’t your fault you got fat, I started modeling again weeks after giving birth. It was not that and even then I was a size 6. Whoop tee friggin do. So I was a stick figure as a child and teen. Doesn’t mean that I would of always been one. And I can tell you now. I am working my butt off to get into shape. But no way will I push myself to be a certain size or weight. Granted I have goals set, but I didn’t put them in stone.  Oh and the amount of work I have put in over the course of a year to go from a 20 to a 12 you basically mock when you ask stupid ass questions like that. The follow up question usually is after all that and I rudely tell someone I am pregnant with a hundred babies or years along in my pregnancy is how did you get so fat? None of your business, but if you must know, illness, bed rest, broken bones, surgeries, steroids, lyrica, all the fun stuff that just happens. I’m over it so why don’t you leave me alone to go sulk now that you think I am fat enough to be knocked up. Walk away before I knock you out.

Whew, I feel much better now.

Now that that is all cleared out on to something I am happy about. Nothing big I was just excited to log on last night and see that my little blog here has had over 1,000 hits. Yay!  It is not a huge deal I know but I thought it was pretty awesome.

This week I did Pump Extreme for the first time. Extreme is friggin’ right. It was one heck of a work out; 55 minutes, over 800 reps, great music, more clean and press (my favorite move), and quite a challenge. I am still feeling the burn, but in a good way. I loved the “team” effort on each track, it changed things up a bit. The only thing that was missing was Asa (she’s my favorite). The banter between Dan and Rachel cracked me up. It’s weird how personalities on a workout DVD can actually not annoy me. Most workout videos I feel the need to poke fun of the trainers or am really annoyed with the high pitched hey look I’m cheery voices or the super scary and creepy perma smiles they have. None of this with the Les Mills Pump workouts. Thank goodness!

Well, onto the rest of my day and I am not cranky anymore after my venting it out on here. I have errands to run, food to eat and workouts to do.

Tuesdays Gone (Week 6 Update)

My Future Paleontologist at the Sloan Museum, Flint, MI

My Future Paleontologist at the Sloan Museum, Flint, MI

I know I am a day late with my check in. Maybe I just wanted the chance to quote Lynard Skynard, or maybe it is because the kid is on Spring Break and we spent the day at the Sloan Museum checking out the Dinosaur Exhibit and Planetarium Show. I am going to say it was the second option with a splash of the first.  We had a good day discovering dinosaurs and then eating some very bad for you pizza. I had a salad and two very, very small slices. So it wasn’t terrible for a “cheat” meal (only 550 cals with the salad) but it wasn’t really worth it. Uno’s you disappoint me with your sub-par pizza that was covered in canned diced tomatoes. Oh well, what is done is done and what I have eaten I have eaten.  Granted I did have that attitude about it last night. I was bummed that it is Easter time and Resses Peanut butter Eggs are out and they are the best candy ever and i can’t allow myself to have them int he house, and I also did some major whining about the pizza. I wasn’t upset that I had eaten something I wanted just that I feel like it was a waste of empty calories and fat because it was not good pizza. I like to make any of my “cheater” meals to be tasty and worth all my hard work. Not mediocre and sad pizza drenched with canned tomatoes and very little cheese. My healthy version of pizza I make here at home is far better, so lesson learned. Uno’s pizza is not good, pizza from home is far tastier but pizza from the bar down the road and papa johns are pizza worth eating bad for one meal for.

I start Pump Revolution this week, Longer harder workouts, I am looking forward to seeing what it is like. I hope the squat tracks are not as brutal as they are on Pump and Shred. I love the Les Mills Pump Workouts but damn, I hate squats. I still push through though. I may be literally crying through it while cursing Rachel to the moon and back. But if it will give me her legs.. I better get on it and dig a little deeper. Tears are just water weight leaving my body anyhow right? I love Sheldon and his ab track, I had a couple of friends over to try out pump and see what they thought of Pump and they are in LOVE with Sheldon. I can quote one girl as saying “He can take me to the car wash…..(I’ll stop there)” I love that he is always singing along. He is very fun to watch. I have good things to say about all the instructors on the videos but I will talk about more of them in future posts. I don’t want to write a novel here.

I should probably get on to the weeks results so I can get onto coloring Easter Eggs with Miss Emma then figuring out what our healthy Easter menu will be for this year. No family in town this holiday so it will just be the three of us, that will make shopping easy!

Here are my results for this week:

  • Chest: 36 inches  (- 0 inches)
  • R Arm: 12 inches  (- 0 inches)
  • L  Arm: 12 inches (- 0 inches)
  • Waist: 35.5 inches (- 0.5 inches)
  • Hips: 42.5 inches (- 0.5 inches)
  • R Thigh: 25 inches (- 0 inches)
  • L Thigh: 25.5 inches (- 0.5 inches)
  • Weight: 174 pounds (- 0 pounds)
  • Pant Size: 14
  • BMI: 35.2


Morning Fires and White Coat Syndrome!

I make one heck of a breakfast... Someone call 911! Fire! Fire!

Whew, it is not even 7:30 am and I am already having a rough day. I overslept, hit the snooze bar for 45 minutes. That is not my norm. Of course that made my daughter miss the bus, no big deal though, we have a car. So the over sleeping problem was easily solved and just a minor annoyance. Next I decided to make my breakfast. Today I needed a fire truck parked outside my house. I burned my breakfast. Not just once but three times (that’s right I said THREE TIMES!). What the fluff? On the bright side the house is not a smoldering pile of rubble and I did not lose any limbs. Eventually I did manage to feed myself a breakfast that was not charred, and live to blog about burnt food and snooze bars. I know, I know I lead such an exciting life. I can see the look of jealousy on you faces as I type. But really boys and girls, burnt foods are for the birds, heck, I don’t know if the birds would even want it!

Not too long ago my husband was diagnosed with high blood pressure. He had a sordid love affair with the Chinese Buffet, caffeine and sodium. I would poke fun at the fact that he spent so much time at the buffet. Jokes about how his mistress must be there or that he was going to visit his love child. I figure the marriage license automatically gave me rights to poking fun of him. So anyhow after he was forced to see a doctor we found out he was in hypertension. Yikes! Getting him to the doctor is like pulling teeth, he is afraid of doctors. They call it White Coat Syndrome. I have noticed that many men avoid the doctor like the plague. Oooo blood pressure cuff and a stethoscope. RUN! Ahhhhh! It’s going to get me!! So today I go visit the doctor with him. He is nervous. It is a follow-up and him being on my diet for a month has brought his BP down to normal. So nothing to worry about.  It will just be a conversation, what’s to be scared of? Maybe because I do not have White Coat Syndrome I just don’t understand? Maybe she can talk him into doing more exercise. He has changed everything else to be healthy, that would be the last step.

On a final note I am looking forward to some Tikka Marsala for lunch, shopping for new gym shoes, cleats and dumbbells and the kiddo’s first baseball practice.

I Don’t Wanna Do It… Ugh

I am so very tired today. Pushing myself through all these workouts with both my fibromyalgia and Reynaud’s Syndrome along with lack of sleep is really dragging me down. The weather constantly changing is not good for me. I can’t wait for true spring so my pain will be less intense and often. I usually enjoy the workouts, but adding the soreness that I get from working out to the pain from the fybro and RS is borderline unbearable. I should be working out right now. But I am here typing a rant about why I don’t want to. I really wish today was a rest day. Granted I have only taken one rest day since I started this program and skipped many, but taking the rest days leaves me with a sense of guilt. But if today was one, I sure as hell would be taking it!

I WILL do today’s workout, I think today’s schedule is an hour… An hour too freaking long for me today. I need some motivation.

How do you cope with chronic pain and pushing through a workout??

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